"Things 5" is free on Tubi TV and free is a really good price for it.
I saw it two nights ago and honestly, most of what I remember is the beginning. A Woman says: "Warning this movie contains gratuitous nudity." The camera then pans to a topless a woman who says, "And gratuitous monster!" and a hairy suited monster walks by grunting and then a blood covered guy exclaims that we'll also see "Gratuitous gore."
It's a good set up to not take the movie seriously at all. Why should you? The filmmakers didn't. There's either a lot going on in this movie, or nothing. I had trouble telling and honestly, I was working a bit while I watched it, so I may have missed some story.
The movie delivered on the amount of nudity. There was more than enough of it. Nearly every female cast member found time for a shower. If showers and simulated sex scenes are your thing and you want them to be occasionally interrupted by a plot so you can feel like you're watching it for the horror, this may be your movie.
If you're an old creature feature fan, like myself, you'll likely be disappointed. The monster suits are at times creative, but mostly Halloween costume quality. I do not hold this against a movie.
See my own flick, "Kramped" for how much I dig a good man in a suit with a zipper running down the back movie.
Would I watch "Things 5" again? Only if I forgot I have already seen it. It happens when you watch this many oddball movies.
Acting was about what you would expect for a film of this type with one or two stand outs.
Gore was present, but not as present as the nudity.
Obligatory shower scenes and "photo shoot" sequences a plenty.
Monster triple threat.
Also, for some reason, my page changed format mid-blogging. I don't know how to fix that, so we've all got problems, right?