Mercy Christmas - Scary Holiday Fun

It's December 26th.  Are you kind of depressed Christmas is over? Do you want to watch a few holiday themed movies before the year is out? Want to scare yourself a bit too? Maybe cheer for a character fighting for his or her life?   Good news! "Mercy Christmas" (2017) has you covered!

"Mercy Christmas" isn't the type of horror I usually go for and during the first few minutes I thought I might switch over to something else.  I decided to give it a bit more of a chance,  however, and I'm glad I did.  

At first the acting by Cole Gleason and Steven Hubbell kind of put me off.  Their characterizations were very two dimensional, but I perservered to the next scene and everything changed.  Those two dimensional characters were intended.  A set-up for a formulaic film that jumps the tracks just often enough to surprise you here and there.  Just when you think  you know what you're watching they do something unexpected.

As the movie progresses everyone's characters come into focus.  Hubbell's performance becomes more nuanced and believable and we realize that part of his "off" acting was actually the characterization of a man who is rarely himself in front of other people.

The movie will leave some viewers cold because it shifts between comedy and horror quite frequently and occasionally abruptly.  Some people  insist that their horror be pure.  Only scary, suspenseful and bloody with no humorous moments.  Those people have never been in a terrifying situation with me.  There is humor in most situations.  Sometimes we don't see it for years, until the adrenaline dies down and we can stop being scared or sad.  But the humor is there.  When humor breaks horror, it's a relief.  When horror breaks humor it's a shock.  Really, these are two things that compliment each other well.

This movie also takes the viewer through some bizarre turns and down a few paths that lead nowhere.  Some people hate that in a movie.  I'm guilty of doing it myself, so I can't really comment against it. ("Savaged" had a planned side story that takes place on a plane that our budget never allowed us to explore.) I think it works here and most of the plotlines come together or contribute in some way.

The last act is truly, truly, absolutely beyond bizarre.  There is far more humor here than the rest of the film, but it has its moments of suspense and plenty of violence.  By the end of the film I was ready to cheer.  A horror movie hasn't made me feel like that for a long time.  After watching it I just wanted to tell everyone what a great little movie this was.

I know that I USUALLY manage to find something positive to say about the indie films I watch and I'm not big on making fun of film's for their low budget shortcomings.  I leave the needling and such to other reviewers, but it's not terribly often that I see something I so definitely feel is a good film.
"Mercy Christmas" is one such movie.
Its strengths far outweigh any weak spots.  Highly recommended for anyone who can stomach it.

Slay Belles - Super Fun Christmas Monster Movie

"Slay Belles" (2018) is the most fun I've had watching a movie that wasn't made by me in a long time.  Seriously, I don't think I knew anybody involved with this one and yet I could see how much fun the cast was having as I watched the film.  To me, for an independent movie, that's a big thing that has been lost.

This movie has everything.  A trio of heroic women (Sounds like "Jack vs Lanterns" ), a monster (check box two for my kind of movie ) , a van, and Barry Bostwick as Santa Claus!

Let me jump in and say that I have no idea what audience this movie was targeting demographically.  Too many curses for kids.  Too absurd for serious adults.  It was basically made for me.  I guess there are other people out there like me after all.  An illusive group to be sure, but we exist.

The movie has gore, a very brief moment of nudity and enough F-bombs to embarrass a trucker.  It also has tons of comedy, ridiculous situations and what appear to be tribbles with teeth.  Then there's the Krampus that goes around murdering children.  Not teenagers having orgies in the woods, but actual, little, still believe in Santa Claus kids.  That was a bit disturbing and unexpected in what is otherwise a very lighthearted film.

Somehow I didn't realize that a Krampus was a main part of this movie.  It was achieved through practical F/X (as many of the f/x shots in the movie appeared to be ) and the suit was pretty darn cool.  He had all of his implements and characteristics.  The basket, the switch and his overly long horns.  In the daylight it played a lot like a man in a suit, but in the controlled lighting of the night scenes it was downright impressive and intimidating.

The movie takes place on Christmas eve, so about half of the screen time is dedicated to daytime action and that has trouble getting the creepy feel they likely wanted to create.  Most of the night scenes  however were beautiful, with the exception of a sequence or two that looked like they either had to shoot without power for lights or had a second unit doing the work and lacked the experience of the main crew.  Either way, even I thought the scenes were bit dark, and I'm known for ignoring lighting in my early days. (Mostly out of a lack of power sources when we were "stealing shots".)

Aside from those few scenes, the production values were high.

The acting was, as it often is in these types of films, uneven.  Bostwick, Kristina Klebe, Susan Slaughter and Hannah Minx made up the core crew and everyone of them was spot on with just enough camp and overacting at the right moments to keep things fun and remind you that you're watching to have a good time, not educate yourself on how the magic of Christmas works.  The rest of the cast has its highs, but it also has a few characters who come across as day players who only learned their lines and really didn't think about what their role in the story was.  It happens.  ( Especially if you only send people pages for their respective scenes because you're still doing rewrites.  Not that I know anyone who would do that. )

The plot is a bit out there, even for a Christmas movie, but it serves its purpose of creating a monster, and making an action hero of Santa and the Belles.

I look forward to their next adventure.  Maybe something around Halloween?

And in case after you watch t his you have a desire to see another trio

of women fight holiday themed monsters...

Poseiden Rex - King of the Sea

"Poseidon Rex" (2013) - is exactly what you'd expect from a SyFy Channel movie from the time.  I'm not sure it was one, but I suspect it was.  In any case, you'll recognize the formula.

It's current rating on IMDB is a pretty low 2.5, but that  doesn't mean it's not worth watching.  A lot of people who just don't appreciate these kinds of "mindless" monster movies still feel a need to watch them and rate them.  A review I read a few years back put them into perspective for me.  They're like the movies we watched as kids on a rainy Saturday.  It wasn't really important if Gamera or 70s era Godzilla made sense.  We wanted to watch them challenge mankind, or other monsters, and destroy buildings and tanks.

The modern offshoots of these movies tend to follow a core group of unlikely heroes and bring in the military late in the film.   "Poseidon Rex" has these elements and adds a set of thugs as well.  There's no lack of action.

Brian Krause leads a cast of  people I didn't recognize.  But most of the main characters were more than adequate.  The one acting flaw almost everyone exhibited was an inability to fire a prop weapon convincingly.  This was likely because the weapons they were firing didn't even fire blanks.  The muzzle flashes were painfully obvious post production add ins.  Like all of these films characters fire countless rounds at the monster with very minimal results.

Let's talk about the monster.  He's the real attraction, right?  Or maybe I should say "she" since she's got a bunch of eggs siting on the ocean floor.  What would a good monster movie be without a world threat of more monsters as a side story?  Poseidon Rex looks really good.  She's got a fearsome design, moves well underwater and has a few nice touches setting her apart from T-Rex. What she doesn't look like is the monster in the cover art.  The real problem with her, hwever, is she never looks like she's sharing the same space as the human characters.  Something is off about her lighting in almost every scene.  But, if she were living in a 3D cartoon world of her own, she would be spectacular.

The plot moves at a brisk pace, attempts to make sense and has lots of shooting, running, and monster destruction.  It's not a great film, but it's a great film for people wanting to turn their brains off for awhile.

Holler Creek Canyon (2006)

"Holler Creek Canyon" (2006), otherwise known as "Bigfoot at Holler Creek Canyon" isn't anything terribly unusual as Bigfoot movies go.  A group of friends, a weird local store owner and a creature running around tearing people apart.

Being totally honest, I watched this one awhile ago (not 14 years ago, but a couple of weeks), so I have more of an impression of it than a full memory of the experience.  I watched the trailer to refresh my memory.

The characters and their intertwining stories were  nothing new and they weren't handled in a particularly new manner. I'm not complaining about a lack of originality.  A lot of my favorite monster movies follow a pretty familiar formula.  This one is no different.  The thing that sets great monster movies apart are the creature, the science, the set pieces or the interactions of the familiar characters.  Nothing in "Holler Creek Canyon" was particularly stand out.  Characters argue, lots of sexual innuendo, dialogue that isn't interesting in any particular way, etc.  It's not the acting (for the most part) that let's the movie down.  I doubt I would have cared about most of these characters had anyone been playing them.  By mid-movie, when the action finally gets going in earnest, I did find myself hoping for a survivor or two.

The creature isn't particularly memorable either.  It has its moments.  At one point, when running, I was truly impressed by the size of the suit and the movement.  But honestly, I don't remember much else.  Bigfoot suits can only be so original though.  The creature has a look to live up to. Large, hairy anthropoid.  It accomplished this.

Ron Jeremy has more than a cameo here.  So, if you're a fan of his acting, there's that.

A few of the action sequences surprised me in their scope as the rest of the movie seemed like a tiny crew, ultra-low budget, affair. It made good use the location too. I absolutely would have written a bigfoot story if I had access to such a location. Also, keep in mind that in 2006 the idea of everyone having a high end camera built into their phone was still on the horizon.  Not a reality.

This isn't a horrible movie.  It can be a chore to watch at times.  Some of the dialogue isn't just interesting, but actively difficult to sit through.  But, as bigfoot movies go, it's watchable.  Definitely something to pass the time while you do something, like write online reviews or prep monster scripts of your own.

Gremlin (2017) - A Different Little Monster

"Gremlin" (2017) is no relation to the 1984 classic we all know and love with the exception of the size of the titular creature.  So, for little monster fans, it might have caught your interest already.  I  put off watching it for awhile, because generally I like my monsters big and destructive.

True to the cover art, the Gremlin in this movie is a relentless, unstoppable,  killing machine.  And the idea that the only way to get it off your back is to "give it to someone you love" is a cruel twist that makes the beastie that much more frightening.  

The monster's design is sort of a love it or hate it kind of thing.  It's like a backwards walking Alien Facehugger without a tail.  It's head is very small.  It's full of teeth, but the mouth is so tiny, it's hard to take it seriously as a threat until  you see the aftermath of an attack.

There are some things involved with how the box and the Gremlin work that are never really explained. Or maybe I just missed the explanation.  Like, there's a "timer", but it doesn't seem to have any regular time intervals for when it opens the box and it certainly doesn't wait until "the timer runs out" to unleash the creature.  Seems more like a victim count leading to a more threatening end.  We're not told if it resets when it's "given to someone you love".  Also, the idea that you're passing on the curse to someone you love becomes more of a conflict as the creature works its way through the people around you during "the countdown".  So, the ones you love may fall prey to it, whether you give it to them or not.  

There's a fair amount of action in the movie once it gets going.  One or two relentless chase scenes.  A few "a-ha" moments and a finale that was really unexpected.

Overall, most of the acting was pretty solid stuff, but there was a problem.  I didn't like many of the characters and unlike most horror movies, the most likeable people (for me anyway) seemed to be among the earliest victims, leaving you with people you'd as just as soon see get munched on by a backwards walking, tailless facehugger.  

The special F/X and other production values are fine for a movie of this type and budget.  In fact, better than I would have expected.  Think current British sci-fi TV quality.

For monster fans, this is definitely an acceptable way to pass the time.  It may not be a movie I'd rush to watch, but when  you want something you haven't seen before, you can certainly do worse than "Gremlin" for horrific monster action.

                                   

Clownado - Insane Extreme Gorefest

I caught "Clownado" (2019) on Amazon Prime.  I have personal and Facebook friends in this one.  Joel D. Wynkoop has been in some of my most prized movies (well, self prized, anyway), such as "Stopped Dead" and "Shelter" and he helped create my work-a-day version of The Grim Reaper in "Reaps", a spoof of "Cops" and other reality T.V. shows.
Linnea Quigley was in "Hoodoo for Voodoo" and I was basically her driver for the duration of her time on that movie.  I doubt she'd remember me now, but this still seems to be worth mentioning in this "full disclosure" section.

Dilynn Fawn Harvey, Eileen Dietz and others are on my Facebook friends list.  Having worked in independent cinema and done interviews for Cult Goddess Magazine, while still trying to keep a network of talent on tap makes it hard to review indie movies that don't have someone I occasionally speak to in them, but this one is a real whopper of indie talent.

Now, onto the movie.  As you can see from the artwork, they aren't shy about using clever marketing and bringing to mind better known movies, like "It" and of course, the infamous "Sharknado" series, but the marketing is where the likenesses end, with the possible exception of the humor infused action from "Sharknado".

You won't see "Clownado" on SyFy.  It's far too gory for that.  And the F/X are a healthy mix of practical and cgi.  The computer graphics are used when they need to be and practical F/X seem to be used whenever possible.

Bright colors, out of place lighting and interesting angles help give the movie an off kilter feel.  And off kilter it is.  I had trouble making sense of some of it, but I often do in killer clown movies.  They seem to  have unlimited powers at some points and go down all too easily at others.  Among the clowns, Satchel (Cayt Feinics) stood out the most for me.  Her name makes sense and I found her the creepiest.  She had a habit of collecting in the movie that makes for some pretty cool scenes.

If I had one complaint about the cinematography it's that there are often close-ups of the gore or monster F/X without an establishing shot or cutaway to show us what we're supposed to be seeing.  Perhaps this was to cover flaws in the F/X, leave things to the imagination or just an oversight.  It happens often enough to be noticeable, however, and it's a bit distracting at times.''

For retro fans of blood and guts movies like "Slime City" or way out, no holds barred horror like "Killer Klowns From Outer Space", this movie is one you want to watch.  Probably even one you want to own.  It does a lot with a modest budget.

Solid performances from the main cast throughout (with the exception of some accents that sound forced).  Wyknoop, Quigley, and Dietz have fun appearances, although only Wynkoop really gets a chance to stretch his legs with some significant screen time.

And be sure to stick around during the credits for some outtakes and such.

                                   

Critters Attack - 2019 A Long Awaited Sequel

I cheated a bit with "Critters Attack" as I watched it on SyFy, not streaming, but to be honest, I just willing to pay extra to see it and it wasn't included with any of the streaming services I had access to when it was released.  It did hit SyFy in October and I watched it as part of my Halloween viewing.

This is the fifth movie in the official feature franchise and it took nearly years to get here since the 4th.  I like all four of the original Critters movies, so when this came out I was curious about it.   A bit afraid it would be full of CG monsters.  It wasn't, but maybe it should have been.  The "new" Crites had an odd look to them.  They were still fairly well put together puppets, with the exception of one, however, they didn't have the same onscreen impact as they did in the original movies.  I think brighter lighting and 28 years of picture quality improvement makes bringing creatures to screen through puppetry a lot trickier and they often missed the mark here.  The "cute one" in particular, looks like she auditioned for Sesame Street, but didn't get the gig and so wound up in this movie instead.

But, I still prefer puppets to CGI most of the time, so I was able to overlook that.

Dee Wallace returns to the franchise as a bounty hunter, but whether or not she's playing her original character is left rather ambiguous.  I feel like she's not.  Maybe she's a bounty hunter who adopted the persona of Helen Brown from a previous visit.  Whoever her character is meant to be, she's a bright spot in the film and a nice nod to the past.

The rest of the core cast is made up of young adults and kids, which is pretty true to the Critters formula.  Most of them play their parts and do okay with the script they were given.

Like in the 4th installment, there are some new concepts thrown around here.  I'm not sure I cared for them, but it's really up to the viewer to decide upon that.

The "final stand" is a bit of a letdown, but there's enough action spread throughout to keep the movie watchable.  Unfortunately, I don't think this is the movie to bring the franchise back, but I could be wrong.  It didn't quite capture the fun of the originals like the recent Tremors sequels have done. (Another favorite franchise of mine.)

If you're a huge fan of the Crites or a completist, like me, it's worth a watch.  I don't think many people will feel a need to watch it multiple times or tell their friends about how great it is.

I think the reason I was disappointed in it was partially due to this excellnt fan film, which set my expectations high.

And of course, if you like your aliens rubber, your action slimey and your acting a bit hit and miss, there's always the "Alien Vengeance"  franchise, from yours truly.

The Golem - 2018

"The Golem" (2018) plays very much like a sequel to "Der Golem" (1920).  It goes so far as to open with an earlier incarnation of the Golem, which is very reminiscent of the clay giant from the original story.  In fact, I would have loved to have seen more than the glimpse of we get of that fabulous monster, but alas, it was not meant to be.

We, instead, are taken to a village, years later, under siege by outsiders who blame the small Jewish community for a plague that has spread across the land.  That is, it has spread everywhere except into that small, isolated community.  In order to protect her people a woman, who should have no knowledge of such things according to the laws at the time, decides to conjure a protector.  But, despite her efforts to form a massive protector, instead a child rises from the clay.

The movie is slow to start.  It may seem like nothing is going on, but like any good story, it is laying foundations for plots that will unfold later on in the film.  And they unfold quickly and furiously once they start.

Despite his small size, the tiny Golem proves to more than an adequate hero.  And he is no less violent that his gigantic predecessor.  All of that is fine.  I'm not sure about the strange "force-like" powers they seem to have endowed him with, but that just may be me.  I like to see my Golems physically destroy things, like the Hammer Bridge in "It!" (1967)

Of course, like any good Golem movie (and they're all kind of cool), the creature has to somehow be less than heroic.  It has to become frightening and threatening to those it was meant to save.  The motivation for this Golem's changes are deep rooted and satisfying.

Overall, I enjoyed this movie.  My wife even kind of liked it.  Solid acting.  Fair F/X even if a bit too much of the gore was computer generated rather than practical, and solid, well rounded characters.  Not many likeable characters, but perhaps that adds to the realism.

The movie is a bit of "Frankenstein", a little "Forbidden Planet" and a dash of "Days of Our Lives".

I actually saw this one on Netflix.  If you get a chance, I'd suggest giving a watch.  I nearly checked out after the first fifteen minutes.  It does pick up.  Slowly, but it does.

                                                                           Trailer

And this is the trailer for "It!" (1967)
Strangely, "The Golem" is by all objective measures, the better movie,
but I am more likely to watch "It!" over and over again.




And, the closest I ever came to making a Golem movie
was my Bog Mummy movie, "Bogged Down", part of "All Wrapped Up".

The Weird World of Andrea Ricca

Italian director, Andrea Ricca, makes the types of movies I like.  Short, straight to the action and with an array of monsters.  I watched recently watched four of them in a row.  "Alien Monster", "The Giant Scorpion" and "The Spirit Board" were all viewed on Amazon and all three featured the acting talent of Ilaria Lamberti.  Most of Ricca's films seem to be dialogue free, so there is no language barrier to worry about.  Lamberti has no problem expressing emotion through facial expression and her characters have plenty of action to play out.  

The fourth film I watched, "Aliens Night", is available in YouTube with ad support, so I'll share that with you here.  As you'll see, it's light on story, much like my own "A Night Alone" and Ricca's other films.  Once again a woman is suddenly besieged by monsters.  This time from an alien invasion.  And once again she must fight her way through on her own.  Here is the movie below.

So, if you've got an itch to skip the dialogue and go straight to the monster action, seek out the work of Andrea Ricca on YouTube or Amazon.  The graphics are definitely low budget and there's no dialogue to create complex backstories, but Ricca does give us glimpses into the characters' lives through visual storytelling.  If nothing else you'll have an action packed few minutes.